


What They Leave Behind

by EternalGalaxies



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: I'm Sorry, M/M, Robbery, gun - Freeform, this includes some deep thoughts by me, why did i write this for Christmas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-16
Updated: 2016-12-16
Packaged: 2018-09-08 21:30:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8862823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EternalGalaxies/pseuds/EternalGalaxies
Summary: "What would he do without Dan? If he had never met Dan, he would still do YouTube. Probably still slightly successful, but not as popular. The radio show wouldn't have happened. Neither would TABINOF, TATINOF, or DAPGO. Dan and Phil games wouldn't exist, and Phil would still be in Manchester. Probably stuck with some job he hated."-Warning: Extreme Sadness





	

**Author's Note:**

> I really don't know why I wrote this for Ficmas...

Dan was talking to himself as he walked down the street, toward his apartment building. Of course, he wasn't really talking to himself, he was speaking to his camera. But it felt weird recording a vlog without Phil. 

Snowing was swirling around him, and drifting down towards the ground, illuminated only by the streetlights. Lights were strung up on buildings, and the whole thing would seem festive if Dan wasn't the only one on the street. It was late, past eleven, and the small, minor street was completely deserted. Dan was alone. 

Or at least, that's what Dan thought. 

Until he heard what he thought were footsteps behind him. He whipped around, clenching the shopping bags tightly. He was probably being paranoid, but there was nobody to help him if he got mugged. 

"Hello?" He called, glancing around the mostly dark street once again. He turned a corner, and noticed grimly the streetlights were fewer here. There was no answer from whoever was following him. If someone was following him, that is. He wondered if he was just that idiot getting scared of ally cats or some other animal. 

The footsteps were getting louder, and Dan was 99% sure they were a person's. He turned again, and started walking faster. Just in case, he pulled out his phone and typed in 999, thumb over the call button. 

"Excuse me, sir!" A voice called out, and Dan turned. A man, someone that looked about thirty, was standing behind him. He was wearing a dark coat, and Dan was relieved he wasn't some pyscho trying to murder him. 

He was relieved, until the guy pulled out a gun. 

-

Phil was sitting in their apartment, making tea. He couldn't help being worried. Dan said he would be back by ten. It was past eleven, and Dan usually called if he was late. Phil wanted to call him, but didn't want to seem clingy or act like he didn't want Dan to be independent. 

But, since they had come out as a couple almost a month ago, Phil was worried about Dan. Almost all of their fans had been overjoyed they were together, and extremely happy for them. 

However, there was still hate. Tweets, comments, and DMs. Phil tried to block and delete them before Dan read them, but sometimes he found them before Phil did. 

Dan seemed to take hate personally, as if he was disappointing everyone if even one person found something to use against them. He was putting up walls again, and Phil wasn't eager to return to the way it had been in 2012, with Dan guarded and hostile to any threat. 

But it was almost Christmas, and Phil had a neat stack of presents under the tree for Dan. There were almost twenty presents, and most of them from Phil. He couldn't help but feel a bit disappointed, especially since this was their first Christmas together as a public couple.

They had been together since 2010, of course. In 2012 things took a turn for the worst, with Dan's homophobic comments. Those had been the days of long-sleeves during the summer for Phil. The days of red cuts and razors and feeling like Dan didn't want him anymore. Because Dan was really all he had. 

What would he do without Dan? If he had never met Dan, he would still do YouTube. Probably still slightly successful, but not as popular. The radio show wouldn't have happened. Neither would TABINOF, TATINOF, or DAPGO. Dan and Phil games wouldn't exist, and Phil would still be in Manchester. Probably stuck with some job he hated. 

Dan had saved him, and he had saved Dan. They saved each other. And Phil loved him for that. 

-

Dan's fingers almost dropped his phone, and he forced himself to take slow, deep breaths. He pressed the call button on his phone, then managed to hit the speaker button, also. The operator picked up just in time to hear the gunshot. 

Pain exploded through him, flowing through every centimeter of his body. He was on fire, pain was the only thing he could focus on. He hit the ground hard, which only added to the agony. He could hear the operator asking questions, but she sounded like she was underwater. Her voice was muffled and he couldn't speak. If he opened his mouth he would choke and die. 

The sirens were the last thing he heard before he passed out. 

-

The paramedics arriving on the scene of the shooting were surprised to see a young man, alone in a dark ally. There was no gun, and an extremely small chance of apprehending the shooter. 

The man was almost dead. One paramedic picked up his ID, and recognized the name from the BBC radio. This was Daniel Howell, world famous celebrity. They loaded Dan onto a gurney, and wheeled him into the ambulance. He would need major surgery. Meanwhile, someone was calling his emergency contact, Phillip Lester. 

-

Phil was getting worried now. Dan hadn't responded to any of his texts or calls. When the phone rang, he didn't even look to see who it was before picking it up. 

"Dan?"

-

Three minutes later, Phil was twenty shades paler and driving to the hospital, willing himself not to cry. Dan was in surgery. He would make it. They would go home. Continue their lives. 

When Phil got to the hospital, he collapsed into a chair and stared at the wall. Only one thought was running through his head. 

What if he doesn't make it?

It was near Christmas, and Phil couldn't go back to empty apartment, with all of Dan's things if he wasn't there too. 

It's funny, everyone pieties the dead. But the dead have it easy. They don't have to think or feel or hurt. They go wherever they go, and leave the rest of us to hurt and mourn and move on. Slowly. 

-

Phil clutched the flowers tightly. He hadn't been alone Dan since he left the hospital, as his family spent all their time with him. He'd seen him, of course, but not alone. This was the first time he could talk to him. He approached the bench where they always used to sit together, and stare at the kids playing football (Soccer for all you Americans) in the field. A sad but gloomy graveyard sat behind the field. 

He held back tears as he approached Dan, and leaned down, brushing the cool stone of the gravestone with his finger. 

Daniel James Howell

 

Phil placed the flowers in front of the stone, and felt hot tears running down his cheeks.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry.


End file.
